Change

Wow, I cannot believe so much time has passed by since I was last here. Time sure does fly by. Lots going on, between work and just the daily grind, a lot of times I am just so busy and tired that I do not get here to post.

I have been going through a lot of changes in my life. Learning to not live my life based on my emotions, but really thinking about things and making wise decisions and choices by really thinking things through. I spent some time earlier this year with a counselor who taught me, not to just react to the stresses in my life, not to jump up and rally using my emotions, but to take a minute, step back and think about it, walk away from it and then come back and make a sound decision that will work for the long term. This not only gives me time to make sure my decision is the right one, but also helps keep my emotions in check, and by not reacting to every thing and instead acting in a rational manner...I will keep my own sanity and learn to have pride in myself.

I am a 44 year old woman who is finally learning to rely on myself, and function as a smart woman, not an emotional wreck. I have hurt others because I made poor decisions and I need to make sure that what I do from now on shows that I am trying to correct those mistakes and stand on my own two feet. I have a long way to go, but I will get there...one day at a time.

I know I will not always make the "right" decisions for everyone else, but at least if I follow my heart and that wise part of my brain, I will make the right ones for myself.

A lot has changed, a lot has not, but I am a stronger person for all of it.

Acceptance

I am going through a lot of change in my life right now, some good, some not so good, but all of it is necessary. As I change and grow through it I realize that its a mix of being happy with some aspects of my life and not so happy with others.

For a very long time I have had a hard time with Acceptance and Self Acceptance. As I have grown older, I realize how important this really is. Over time I am learning to be more accepting of a lot things - accepting that I am responsible for my own decisions, my own mistakes and my own destiny. I cannot sit back and wait for someone else to fix the things that are wrong, and I cannot blame anyone else for the good or bad in my life. More importantly, I am accepting that good or bad, how I handle it and move forward is the key to making it count for something. I accept that I cannot undo anything, but given the chance, I can do it better next time.

Self Acceptance defined by Wikipedia

Self acceptance is being loving and happy with who you are now. It’s an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and support who you are at this moment.

Self acceptance leads to a new life with new possibilities that did not exist before because you were caught up in the struggle against reality. People have trouble accepting themselves because of a lack of motivation. Some have this misconception that if you are happy with yourself you won’t change things about yourself. This isn’t true, you don’t have to be unhappy with yourself to know and actively change things you don’t like. Acceptance could be called the first step in change.

My Soul Sister

Have you ever met someone in your life who made you feel like you were just 'meant to be friends'. Someone who has so much in common with you that its almost scary! I have a soul sister like that. Denise and I met a little over a year ago, at work. She started shortly after I did, and I even trained her. We just clicked! The more we chatted the more it became obvious that we were definitely 'meant to be'. We share common interests, we both love to talk and laugh, we even share similar health issues. The health issues part is kind of a big one, because at least we can relate to each other with our miseries, LOL. She left me a few months ago to work elsewhere, but even with that we are closer than ever and talk frequently.



Denise graduated from college today. She was an online student who worked very hard, and graduated with honors with a degree in medical coding. She has so much drive and determination and she worked so hard to achieve this goal. I am so very proud of her! She gave up her evenings, weekends and time with her family often to make sure she did what she had to do. I was included in her celebration today with her family, and I so appreciate being considered part of the family. She truly is my soul sister.

I envy her that drive and determination, because I do not know if I am strong enough to accomplish all of that at this point in my life. I often think and dream of going back to school, but wonder if I will ever have enough confidence to take that first step....maybe....someday. I guess I am really still just a work in progress in so many ways.

Clean House

Have you ever noticed how much better you feel when your house is clean? I may be a cornball, but despite being a little bit worn out, I get a thrill from the overall feeling of clean, from seeing the lines in the carpet from the vacuum and the smell of freshness that wafts through the house.

My mother raised me to keep a clean, orderly house, and I try to maintain that, but I will admit that sometimes it gets out of hand, simply because life takes over. I am in the process of purging a lot of things in my life, both physical items and emotional baggage, and simplifying things.

I am learning to keep my life in 'order' and this to me is so much more important than a dust free living room, or spotless kitchen. I appreciate the necessity of staying ahead of it, but at this point in my life, I have also realized, that there are many more important things than making sure my house is spotless. The most important is keeping myself happy, and living life....one day at a time, even if it gets messy.

Camera Challenge

I saw this over on my friend Jacki Nicol Donaldson's blog and thought that I might give it a whirl myself. Not sure when I will start it, but stay tuned, because it might be soon.

Source: whitepeachphoto.com via Raffaella on Pinterest

Not a whole lot else happening today. I slept in, went to grocery store, and have been relaxing most of the day. A badly needed 'down' day. Hope everyone is having a great day.

New Outlook, New Blog

Hello to all of my friends in blog-land. Some of you have commented that you have missed my blog, so here we go...a brand spankin new one. I cannot promise to post daily, but I will try to keep up with it better than the last.

It might be a layout that I have done, or a picture or just a little note about my comings and goings. Cannot promise a lot of excitement either, just a little bit of My Life, doing it My Way.

Thanks for checking it out!!